Friday, February 20, 2009

As you all know i work in the field of Telecommunications. As you also might know i have no idea what this is. So anyways i was at work yesterday when the guy (Fred) who works in the cubical on my left turns to me and say "Me and my wife had another child yesterday." I was slightly confused by this for i had never spoken to this man, I was about to offer my congratulation when he continued by saying “it's a young male, good, healthy, how about 50?” As you can imagine I had no idea what he was talking about and as I opened my mouth to talk the man who sits in the cubical to the right of me (Fred) suddenly whispered “No don't his children are no good don't work well and take up more money then they bring you in” I was getting pretty freaked out by this time and shouted “ Your selling your child” and Fred (left) replied “yes for a very good price I might add one time offer they go bad if you don't buy them quick.” I was about to say something when Fred (right) practically screamed at Fred (left) saying “Just last month I bought a girl that you promised would help me progress in the world yet all she did every night was lay suck on a pacifier and cry her eyes out. If you ask me it was a waste of a newborn. I will never by from you gain.” By this time Fred (left) was getting pretty mad and shouted back “Well maybe you weren't using her right, besides it takes awhile for them to be able to move you can't expect them to be able to run after the first day!!!” When Fred (right) yelled “NO but I expect them to Run” At this point they were both standing yelling over my head and more spit was flying then in then there water in the ocean. Anyways Just about this time I look up at the spider-webbed covered clock and then glance around the completely silent dust filled room get up walk over to the rust covered door take one last glance at the lifeless abandoned Telecommunications work office and sighed “ Just usual one more day at work.”

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I HATE DIMES

OK so today while i was on my usual street corner and drinking my usual cup of rainwater some random guy came up to me and tossed in a dime!!! DO you know how gross that is i mean for starters I don't know where that dime has been, and secondly i don't go up to people minding there own business and drop a dime into the drink. Whats wrong with the world and why does this always happen to me. Everyday my fresh cup of rain water is ruined my some moron.
Anyways after the b-hole left i got up and started gutter hoping. Now if you don't know what this is then you don't know that its used to cure boredom, and you don't know that it hardly ever does its job. So back to the story, i,m jumping gutters when i trip over some dime on it and fall right in front of traffic. Cars from every direction where zooming at me not even noticing that i was there. As i made my way back to the sidewalk a car hits a dime on the ground at the right angle and sends it flying at my head pushing back into a hotdog stand. And as most of you know i love hot dogs so when the manager said i could never come back i was taken back. How could he do this to me.
Now my only goal in life is to find ever dime ever made and destroy it. MAHAHAHAHAHA
I was taking my semi-anual bath in a puddle when I relized that it was deeper then most. Infact i could not feel the bottom of it. So I took in a gaint smog filled breath and dove under. As you can imagain it was inpossible to see through the mudd and slim, but I could tell that the bottom was not near. So I kept on swimming down and down till I started falling. With the sky rushing on past me and the ground jumping to meet me all I could think of was the smell. Cucumbers!!! the sent was so strong that it wrapped me up init and craddeled me softly onto the ground. When I was on my feet again I got a chance to look around and was astounded to find that everyone and everything was made from cucumbers. The people the trees absolutly everything. Well knowing my luck as soon as i started walking i stepped right into a puddle of cucumber dog crap. I proceded to chase the green mutt around the park enjoying the absolute ecstasy. when it started to rain cucumber drops bouncing of my face and tickling my arms and legs. When I remebered that I was supposed to be bathing. So i waddeled over to a nice light colored puddled and stepped in. Before I knew what was happing I falling up torwards the green colored clouds. and into a mucky puddle. Before I knew it i was standing back in my old puddle with nothing but a faint saint of cucumer drifting away from my skin.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

my poor head


Ok so i was doing my usual search for dinner in trash cans when a sunk popped out of one and scared me half to death making me fall over backwards and hit my head. I woke up about 5 mins. later and the world had transformed into black and white. It was unbelievable yet believable at the same time. I went into a state of shock i started running around calling my killer oranges to pick me up so i could look at the town. It was scary yet intense at the same time that i gasped so loud the ornges dropped me on my head where i continued to wake up in a world of purple and 2-d.

Dream


Last night as i lay in my box i looked up to see a window upon which raindrops were dancing. It was the most beautiful thing i thought i had ever seen until a reflection of a rainbow bounded off of it and lit up the trashcan next to me it was so breath taking i went into the closest house and borrowed their camera and took a pic. of it so i could share it with the world. as i reached my fingers out to ouch it i tripped over the edge of my box and fell into the window shattering it all around me along with the dream like beauty. Then the people that lived there woke up and called the cops on me and i had to run away, but i shall never forget the night i saw the rainbow do a personal dance for me.

Monday, February 9, 2009

The adventures of the hobo named addie

OK so this morning i was skipping down the sidewalk humming oh hot damn this is my jam, when i ran into this old Man and i fell over causing me to drop some trash i had in my pocket on the ground. i was stunned for a little bit when he sad "PICK IT UP". It scared me so bad i starteds running and hid on top of the 608 building where i sat under my own personal rain cloud and feasted on taco bell that i had previously found in a trash can there was a little bit of vomit on it but it made it taste of, a burrito, taco, and filet mongon. After about an hour or so i called apun 100 pink birds to caryy me down. when the dropped me on a security gaurd and he started to chase me but i found oranges in a trah can and began to throw them at him.
TO BE CONTINUED......